Weekly Update

WiseGuys,

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not an Owner was stirring, not even Alan and Tony who chirp more than a mouse.
Three prizes to give and the stockings were hung,
if y'all other owners did your research you would have won.
If you would have handled your organization with care,
St. Commissioner would have handed you money to be fair. 
The losing owners were nestled all snug in their beds,
with potential visions of waiver picks dancing in their heads.
I wonder if Mike M., Victor, and James took a nap,
because they are the bottom three and that's just a fact.
Eric went from bottom three last year, but ended up short from first, oh dear.
Pedro could have won third, but ended in fourth because he wanted to see Vader use the force.
Manny was last year’s champ and this year's chump, hopefully next year your team looks better than a dump.
Aldo and Hector I am sorry to say, you won’t end up getting any dough, but at least it's not coal.
Last but not least, a name that is known, Michael B. won this year by using his phone, 
As easy it is to say ABC,  Mike B. can easily say I am the Champ times three,
I wish all a goodnight and I hope y'all been good because Santa is coming to your hood.
As for me, I did what I could, a great league I provided and some would say ten out of ten.
Merry Christmas from my family to yours,
Commissioner   

Weekly Update

WiseGuys,

I feel rap coming on, please play Eminem "Who knew" in the background:

I don't do waiver picks, I don't start Johnson over Adams,
I write weekly updates for grown ass men,
I put owners at risk when I write like this,
WiseGuys puts wives at risk with a Fantasy Football league like this,
Shit, Mike you probably think after beating me you are on deck now,
The Commish is in the back seat of your truck with duct tape stretched out
Ducked the fuck way down, waitin' to straight jump out
Put it over your mouth, and grab you by the face — what now?
Oh, you want me to watch my mouth
How? Take my fuckin' eyeballs out and turn them around?
The WiseGuys Championship is between Eric and Mike and bets are circling around
And I don't know who is going to bring the house down,
I am sorry, there must be a mix-up (WISEGUYS OWNERS IN THE BACKGROUND)
No, you want me to fix up the Championship because your team sucks
Get aware, wake up, get a sense of humor
Quit tryin' to change the league: this is for your amusement
But don't blame me when Mike wins three Championships,
You shoulda been watchin' the waiver wire, apparently you ain't great owners....

That was refreshing, glad I got that off my chest. Congratulations to Eric Roberts and Michael Baranda, who will be going to the 2019 WiseGuys Championship. Michael Baranda can potentially make history by winning WiseGuys three times. Trust me when I say, I do not look forward to the following two characters potentially...3X. Eric can make history too, Eric did not make the playoffs last year and will now be in the WiseGuys Championship. I wish you both the best and may the force be with you always.

PAYOUT STRUCTURE
1st - $750
2nd - $350
3rd - $100 

On to other news, Alan defeats Tony in the match up of the week by putting up 147 points to Tony's 99 points. For some odd reason, Alan always comes through against Tony during the regular season, playoffs (last year), and consolation ladder. If I were to compare their rivalry (Please note, not true rivalry until Tony wins) to two sports teams, I would compare it to the New York Yankees (No Stache) against the Boston Redsox (Stache). Looks like Pedro and I will still have the Mexican standoff, but not what we had in mind as we are battling for third place. We went from a  potential box office western, "The good, the bad, and the ugly" to the damn "Wild Wild West" overnight.

Please note, after the WiseGuys Championship I will share the Draft Order with additional details of the Lottery.

May the force be with you always,
Commissioner

Weekly Update

WiseGuys,

I am dumbfounded to see that the 2X Champion Michael B. (8th seed) pulled off one of the greatest upsets of all time against Alan (1st seed). Michael Baranda reminds me of Tony Stark (The First Iron Man movie) when he was in a desert with nothing at all and made that damn badass, over sized, all gray, and can barely move suit. Let's not forget the badass music too provided by Ozzy Osbourne "Iron Man" in the background while Tony Stark was kicking some ass. Alan, this match up was yours, all you had to do was start Drew Brees. Alan you would have won and had the most points out of everyone with a total of 178, ouch. Alan, I am truly sorry you will not be advancing to the next round and wish you and your organization the best.

Aldo (6th seed), I had high hopes for you being Commissioner and all in the other league, but your season had to come to an end. I can honestly say I thought you were going to win Sunday Night, but the fantasy gods did not think you were worthy. Russell Wilson and Chris Carson were pretty much no shows Sunday night and for this you will not be advancing to the second round. Aldo, you are the weakest link, goodbye. Pedro (3rd), oh Pedro, it appears that the fantasy football gods favor you. Great win this past week against another fallen Ramirez brother. Hopefully your nickname will soon fade a way (no sticker Pedro) if you win a WiseGuys Championship this year, but I am not making any promises it will change lol.

Tony, as I was dumbfounded with Alan's loss, I was dumbfounded with your pathetic double digit score this week. To put this in perspective, you went from being Best Buy last week in terms of your decisions on your line ups (Anthony Miller), to being Funcoland the following week. C'mon man (Chris Carter voice). I know you will rebound next year and do a whole lot better, but as Porky Pig ends the show...Tha Tha Tha Tha Thats all folks.

Manny (7th), looks like no back to back this year Papa. For the record, I truly wanted you to win if I did not make it of course. Not just because you are my brother, but because I wanted an awesome gift for Christmas damn it. Well, I guess this is goodbye, adios hermano and see you next year (not literally lol). Eric, job well done by taking down the former Champion. It's amazing how everyone laughed at you with your first round pick last year of Aaron Rodgers (I did not by the way) and now the same Aaron Rodgers might just take you to the Promised Land.

Now to the Pour Four, Hector R beat Michael M. cool. Jim beat Victor, cool.

Alright, moving onto the Final Four WiseGuys members that stand:

Michael B.
Alex
Pedro
Eric

It's going to be a tough week for everyone, so there is no match up of the week. Actually, I take that back, even though these individuals are out of the playoffs, I name Tony versus Alan the match up of the week, just because it's entertaining seeing these two organizations going back and forth on GroupMe. The King of the hill this past week is yours truly putting up 163 total points. The player of the week is J. Winston putting up 42 points and owned by Hector.

May the force be with you all,
Commissioner

Weekly Update

WiseGuys,

I want to start off by saying, CONGRATULATIONS TO ALAN AKA "THE UNDISPUTED ERA" FOR GETTING FIRST PLACE IN THE REGULAR SEASON. Keep it up playboy, got nothing but love for ya. Remember, you have done great thus far, but don't let early success blind you from your main goal.

What an amazing weekend, a lot of movement between the 2nd seed down to the 7th seed. I personally dropped from 2nd to 5th place due to Captain Merchandise (Hector), but it's alright the sun will rise again. The King of the Hill is Aldo by putting up 139 points, way to represent the Commissioners Union Aldo. The player of the week is Aaron Rodgers who put up 35 points and is owned by Eric. Eric you made an amazing change from not making the playoffs last year to being one of the best in the Elite Eight.

The time has come and I want to bid farewell to the following four who are now part of the Pour Four:

Mike M.
Hector
Victor
Jim

Thank you for your "cough, cough" hard work this year, it really paid off. My only advice to you four is to do the complete opposite to whatever you did this year. It can be done, for example take No Sticker Pedro, he went from one of the worst owners last year to now being a well respected owner who brings you up to date news. #THUGNASTYDEPORTES

I now would like to present you, the Elite Eight, the best of the best, the creme of the creme:

Mike B.
Alan
Alex
Tony
Aldo
Pedro
Manny
Eric

This week is going to be intense for everyone, so please advise loved ones and family members to tread with caution during football games. There is a lot of money on the line, this may not be the case for most of you, but let loved ones or family member know this money could potentially be their gift (it works). Every match up this week is important, so do your research!

If you have any questions or concerns, please let me know.

May the force be with you all,
Commissioner